不知从哪一年起，就对生日的那天失去了盼望。
人，有时真的很怕有希望。
因为害怕失望。
天父，
今年我许下了三个愿望。
第一个，
每年都许，也渐渐看见你的实现。
我还满怀期待和盼望。
相信身边的人一定会来认识你。
第二个，
我从没怀疑，永远都不会。
因为你每天都让我看见你在我的物质生活里添加美好。
已经见证，永远都见证。
第三个，
没对多少人说。
今年，似乎很怕失望。
父啊，
我只怕，过了这次，
很怕再许下同一个愿望了。
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I'm a winner
In the midst of the studying,
a gift landed on my lap.
I won tickets to movie "Kick Ass"!
Thanks, ah-dong and radio1003!
What would I name myself if I became a superhero?
My answer was: Mr. Alright.
And I won. HAHA.
I know everything is gonna be alright.
Thank God for the encouragement. :)
a gift landed on my lap.
I won tickets to movie "Kick Ass"!
Thanks, ah-dong and radio1003!
What would I name myself if I became a superhero?
My answer was: Mr. Alright.
And I won. HAHA.
I know everything is gonna be alright.
Thank God for the encouragement. :)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Money, more than enough for me.
I happened to start thinking about my life after graduation.
Especially now that I have got my internship. I suppose it to be a simulation of what is to come.
And I hoped (and still hope) it to be all rosy.
But one thing struck me.
Quite hard.
My study's on loan.
And the amount looks a little scary.
If I choose to make smaller payments after graduation, I would be paying dearly for interests.
If I choose to shorten the schedule, I would have to live with lesser means during the earlier years. And that could still be a few years.
The short term net effect, realistically speaking, isn't anything better than my present status (now that I don't have immediately due loan payments and other reciprocal obligations such as to my parents). I could probably not be looking at any increment in "enjoyment", if any, measuring by the amount of real disposable income according to my map.
And, my other life plans?
It is one thing to know how to be satisfied. But scarcity scares.
...
And then I went online, headed for SMU's graduate employment surveys.
I could have understated my starting salary by being conservative. I forgot that my confidence in SMU graduates' proven record of good head-starts was one of my primary reason for choosing the university. Not that bad.
Okay.
And then I remembered something more important too.
My confidence is in my Heavenly Father.
If anybody holds a good record, He holds the trump position.
If I were to count on my many miraculous blessings, those deposits to my life account, material and spiritual, they are beyond human reason.
So my absolute faith rests in Him.
While the paper with the sums I just did still sits in front of me,
I know my sights can be set higher. On Him.
:)
Especially now that I have got my internship. I suppose it to be a simulation of what is to come.
And I hoped (and still hope) it to be all rosy.
But one thing struck me.
Quite hard.
My study's on loan.
And the amount looks a little scary.
If I choose to make smaller payments after graduation, I would be paying dearly for interests.
If I choose to shorten the schedule, I would have to live with lesser means during the earlier years. And that could still be a few years.
The short term net effect, realistically speaking, isn't anything better than my present status (now that I don't have immediately due loan payments and other reciprocal obligations such as to my parents). I could probably not be looking at any increment in "enjoyment", if any, measuring by the amount of real disposable income according to my map.
And, my other life plans?
It is one thing to know how to be satisfied. But scarcity scares.
...
And then I went online, headed for SMU's graduate employment surveys.
I could have understated my starting salary by being conservative. I forgot that my confidence in SMU graduates' proven record of good head-starts was one of my primary reason for choosing the university. Not that bad.
Okay.
And then I remembered something more important too.
My confidence is in my Heavenly Father.
If anybody holds a good record, He holds the trump position.
If I were to count on my many miraculous blessings, those deposits to my life account, material and spiritual, they are beyond human reason.
So my absolute faith rests in Him.
While the paper with the sums I just did still sits in front of me,
I know my sights can be set higher. On Him.
:)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Joy my heart has not felt for some time.
Yesterday, at E-hub.
Looking through the glass for the dazzling displays, Christmas.
When the familiar, familiar tune played.
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and friends.
They pranced, they danced.
The young ones screamed, and joined in a "mob".
I followed.
I smiled.
Today, home.
I was beat from a day. A full day.
It was a great day.
Would have hit the sack,
but soon got peeled to the black box.
"The Will".
Of money, love, and more love*.
My heart warmed.
It smiled.
Two days, two times.
My heart found some joy.
In a way it seemed to have not found, for some time.
Thank God.
(*We can have both - money and love. We should have both. But, as the great movie showed, the greatest of all is love. And love desires to give, even money.)
Looking through the glass for the dazzling displays, Christmas.
When the familiar, familiar tune played.
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and friends.
They pranced, they danced.
The young ones screamed, and joined in a "mob".
I followed.
I smiled.
Today, home.
I was beat from a day. A full day.
It was a great day.
Would have hit the sack,
but soon got peeled to the black box.
"The Will".
Of money, love, and more love*.
My heart warmed.
It smiled.
Two days, two times.
My heart found some joy.
In a way it seemed to have not found, for some time.
Thank God.
(*We can have both - money and love. We should have both. But, as the great movie showed, the greatest of all is love. And love desires to give, even money.)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
what do i have to whine about?
sometimes it is so easy for one to get disappointed.
but sometimes i then get angry and disappointed at myself. for getting disappointed in the first place.
and it is times like this when i come back to melvinstory and do the same thing all over again.
to give it back to God.
to be thankful. i mean, i really should. i know i am blessed, in one and many ways.
what do i have to whine about?
but sometimes i then get angry and disappointed at myself. for getting disappointed in the first place.
and it is times like this when i come back to melvinstory and do the same thing all over again.
to give it back to God.
to be thankful. i mean, i really should. i know i am blessed, in one and many ways.
what do i have to whine about?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Of growing up and aging
For two years in SAJC, I travelled on the NEL.
And then I stopped doing so when I left the school.
Today, I was on the journey again.
But, on the familiar journey, I could not recall the feeling, of time ticking away helplessly, I experienced today. It was never there, at least never so much "in my face".
I did not remember having to chase after the invisible enemy of time even while traveling.
The scary thing was, but yet, I was not rushing for anything today.
And I knew, instantaneously, I've aged.
And then I stopped doing so when I left the school.
Today, I was on the journey again.
But, on the familiar journey, I could not recall the feeling, of time ticking away helplessly, I experienced today. It was never there, at least never so much "in my face".
I did not remember having to chase after the invisible enemy of time even while traveling.
The scary thing was, but yet, I was not rushing for anything today.
And I knew, instantaneously, I've aged.
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