'Forgiveness' - what it is and what it is not.

i wonder why the warped ideology about the virtue of forgiveness.

forgiveness is needed when accidental (or incidental) trespasses are made, forgiveness writes off the wrongly-done, allows healing, is the prerequisite for forgetfulness. yes, it is all that. just, it's hard to forget, in fact no mortal achieves that, no matter how hard we try (or not try to), even after forgiveness.

but i guess something needs to be put right. when we forgive, neutrality is restored - and that's about all that forgiveness has to offer. forgiving means you dont hate, it means that even if you do remember, it has no effect to cause you to give back unto what you ill-hate about your trespasser. forgiveness just means, the issue is dropped.

If there are three simplified generic stages of relationships we have with each other, they will be that of foes (the not-forgiven who are treated with hostility), strangers (the ones we maintain neutrality with, whom we neither become hostile with nor extend help to naturally), and friends (the ones whose lives we are willing to play a contributing role in), in this order.

and forgiveness does not necessarily (and no one should expect it to) mean that the foe becomes a friend, immediately. Because forgiveness is a gift of the forgiver, and is, if it would disappoint you, not as extravagant as many of us would wrongly think it to be.

forgiveness can be unconditional, that's why we qualify it as a gift because the person at receiving does nothing to wholly deserve it, but the same cannot be said about moving on from the point of neutrality. This would require the seeker to display deserving qualities worthy of consideration for the person who has forgiven, and the application of effort is proven through time. and, of course, consider it already a privilege to be given the first gift of forgiveness, hence there is no right to demand for both to proceed from neutrality.

so, the next time you think you are forgiven, dont yell and sulk at why 'things are never the same'. they will never be, at least immediately.

however, exceptions do happen, where there is immediate acceptance into the circle proceeding forgiveness. you may want to say you witnessed it in church, or, when the relationship matters too much. it's wonderful, nonetheless, and must be encouraged. that is when you 'love unconditionally'.

and melvin does no charity, at least not as easily as you think. not when he sees a potential abuse of the additional gift being handed out.